Here’s some dumb shit I refrained from posting on the internet until now! I hope you’re alive and well! I hope you’re doing your best! I hope the daily calculations of survival haven’t worn you out! I hope you know I love you!

stimes being physically & emotionally exhausted, overworked, & in the midst of a neverending pandemic in your thirties means wanting to have sex but having to schedule it in the space between your doordash order & delivery & yelling, “put your clothes on joshua is almost here” in the afterglow

took my bra off at work in the middle of the day and felt liberated as hell

any human person with larger than average eyeballs be looking at me…. i will lose it. i am putty. i transcend corporeality. a child? any gift you want! a PONY! an adult? let’s get married!

if technology and like, my entire life could conspire so that i never had to take my clothes off ever that would be amazing

there is NOTHING like the nostalgia u feel when hearing a song lyric that made you inexplicably horny as a teenager, “my knife it’s sharp and chrome / come see inside my bones” u kno wut 15 year old me was fucking RIGHT

it’s weird that i technically own a house but for some reason i’m way more weirded out that i own a garage??

crystal and i and her mom were playing mario kart last night and crystal always warns me if i’m in first place and there’s a first place shell coming for me and i kept yelling, “VALHALLA WAITS FOR MEEEEEEE” and i truly am a delight

MAN not to be controversial but u kno wut books are GOOD

i only listen to music with murmuring spoken word passages of lost intergalactic travelers recording their last words for posterity before they die now!!!!!!!!

some people……. should be swallowed by a whale

a fun thing about my anxiety is that sometimes i have anxiety about the same thing from opposite sides, so like: part of my brain says that i have to finish tattooing my arms or i will die, but then a different part says that IF i finish tattooing my arms i will die… you can see how this would be ,,, very stupid to live with

i get weird and confessional and overly loving when i’m like, exhausted and sometime it tries to come out in email at work, like, please people work with me i’m so tired and i lov eyou so much

you know how when you’re horny for something sexual, it’s like, “oh yeah i’m hard” well when i am horny for something emotional it’s like, “oh yeah i’m SOFT”

I’m still out here using Twitter at incomprehensible intervals — @ashrocketship — so you know… Don’t miss out on that either.