in recent years

201820172016
201520142013
201220112010

untweeted

Here’s some more stuff I refrained from posting on the internet until now!

setting my cruise control to 73 instead of 75 is the vehicular equivalent of dragging my feet

but what would i do with my time if i wasn’t constantly combatting intrusive thoughts every waking moment of every day

i thought there were only two men and a danny devito on it’s always sunny, but it turns out there are THREE men and a danny devito and some of the things i have seen on the internet about this show make,,, slightly more sense now. but still very little sense, abstractly.

sure it LOOKS like i’m wearing pajamas in public and sure, maybe they ARE pajamas, but have you considered that, most importantly, they are also DIRTY pajamas?

everybody’s a damn lyft driver and everybody’s headlights are too damn bright!!!

mbti is just astrology for people who believe in bootstrap ideology

as a youth i assumed everyone was gay and there has been no greater disappointment of my adult life than realizing that lots of people are ACTUALLY straight

you got a cemetery that you refer to as ‘the one we got locked in?’ cuz i sure do

sure i COULD set my alarm for later but would the extra sleep be as satisfying without waking up every 9 minutes, terrified and wracked with guilt????

“live laugh love” should be “laugh love live” in order from easiest to hardest and also best to absolute fucking worst

I do still use Twitter, @ashrocketship, so you know… Don’t miss out on those either. Because I’m a real gift to the world, you know?