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totally top three: april 2019

The end-ish of this month has been ROUGH because I got sick like a dumb idiot and also because I have to go in for my semi-annual endometrial probing and I also have other stuff scheduled and I don’t handle having plans very well? I prefer to be free and I will assume that this is just my nature as a pisces, since one of the other things I find myself obsessed with in 2019 is astrology even though I don’t believe in it at all. What an adventure being alive is!

I did at least manage to like some stuff this month, so that’s cool!


I thought Unicorn Store was incredibly sweet and charming and also it made me cry a little bit, but in a nice, moved way, which is always great. Brie Larson is a national treasure who I already love a lot and Mamoudou Athie is a wonderful new addition to my list of People to Be Obsessed With. I liked that this just leaned into its premise and let it play out as weird as it wanted to without sacrificing any of its characters’ humanity. Samuel L. Jackson was also great as always and man, what a wardrobe!


I didn’t actually know anything about Jessica Knoll’s Luckiest Girl Alive when I finally started reading it 10,000 years after the hype died down and though I don’t think it mattered much enjoyment-wise, I do think I would have been extremely fucked up by the expectation that it might be anything like Gone Girl because it just… Is not at all that kind of book and I don’t know what marketing person decided to fucking, die on that hill. This is some of the best writing I’ve read in a long, long time and a really complicated, interesting narrator to spend time with and I am so glad I read it and happy to never read it again.


Lizzo is a babe, a talent, a hero, an idol, an inspiration and Cuz I Love You is joyful and fun and energetic and beautiful and I am so glad I’m alive on earth at the same time as her. I can’t imagine telling a young version of myself about Lizzo’s entire existence and I am so envious of and happy for young people right now. Favorites: “Cuz I Love You” & “Like a Girl” & “Jerome” & “Better In Color”


And three to look forward to…

avengers: endgame   frank iero and the future violents, barriers   tom ryan, keep this to yourself

some stuff i read: april 2019

Here are some things I read this month that weren’t a waste of time!

Anna Borges, “I am not always very attached to being alive”

Epiphora, “Masturbating like it’s 1925 with the Polar Cub Electric Vibrator, Oster Massagett, and Vanguard Vibro-Massager”

Hannah Williams, “The Gay Love Stories of Moomin and the Queer Radicality of Tove Jansson”

Alexis Nedd, “Why Captain America is definitely a virgin”

Kyle Korver, “Privileged”

Lesley Kinsel, “Fat Bias Kept Me Sick”

Alex Palmer, “When Art Fought the Law and the Art Won”

totally top three: march 2019


I L-O-V-E-D The Umbrella Academy! It was really fun and engaging and a little dumb, which is generally what I’m looking for in all my media about people with superpowers. I like the characters a lot, even when I don’t — looking at you, Luther — and I thought it looked really good, bright and lively with really fun set and costume design. I liked that it never hit a point where I felt like it was taking itself too seriously, which is really important for me with most things I watch and read, but especially stuff with an inherently goofy premise. It hit some really nice emotional moments, gave me a bunch of characters to care about, and left me looking forward to the possibility of a second season!


These Daily Ritual Jersey Tanks are the most comfortable, well-cut tank tops I’ve ever worn. The fabric is soft and lightweight with a really nice drape, but they’re not sheer at all. They’ve got a little bit of an asymmetrical hem, so they cover a little more butt, but the overall length is also great. They don’t have huge gaping armpit holes — my enemy! — and the neckline is a nice depth. I don’t know that I’ve ever been this enthusiastic about tank tops, but ever since Old Navy discontinued my old faves, I have been looking for something even half as good and these blow those out of the water. FINALLY.


I really liked the third season of One Day at a Time! As a show, it really fills a hole in my heart made by 90s sitcoms that wanted me to learn and feel things and I like that I get to have that experience again, but with some issues that would have never made the cut in my youth. I love these characters very much and I like that the stories are tightly contained and solved relatively simply, but never without a pretty satisfying emotional payoff. Even the cheesy sitcom dialogue works in the show’s favor because the acting shines against the constraints of the words and helps diffuse some of the preachier bits. I’m sad it won’t be coming back, but it’ll be fun to have three solid seasons to rewatch when I’m feeling bad about the world, which is basically always.


And five to look forward to…

the twilight zone   the damned things, high crimes   s.j. goslee, how not to ask a boy to prom   khalid, free spirit   hellboy

some stuff i read: march 2019

Here are a few things I read this month that weren’t a waste of time!

Elizabeth O-Connell-Thompson, “Do No Harm” & “xx”

Cass Marshall, “Everyone hates my big stupid horse in Red Dead Online”

Alex Pareene, “Nihilist in Chief”

Mia Mercado’s newsletter Cake for Breakfast is always a delight in my inbox.

Ryan Mach, “Getting arrested for nunchuck possession was the best thing that ever happened to me”

Sarah Gailey, “STET”

Caity Weaver, “My 14-Hour Search for the End of TGI Friday’s Endless Appetizers”

eat my taint

Yesterday as I was driving home from work, I saw a car with “EAT MY TAINT” written in the dust of its back window and could not stop thinking about it. All the way down the street to my house and into the garage. All the way through putting the car in park and closing the garage door. All the way through getting out of my garage and through the backyard and into the house. All last night and into today.

Because, like, “EAT MY DICK” is one thing, a very clear direction of aggression.

But “EAT MY TAINT” is so… vulnerable. There’s no way to be the recipient of that act that isn’t exposed and defenseless. You can only direct “EAT MY TAINT” at someone you trust, someone you’re willing to be open and unguarded with.

That’s not graffiti, that’s a fucking proposal.