Here’s some dumb shit I refrained from posting on the internet until now! I hope you’re alive and well! I hope you’re doing your best! I hope the daily calculations of survival haven’t worn you out! I hope you know I love you!

stimes being physically & emotionally exhausted, overworked, & in the midst of a neverending pandemic in your thirties means wanting to have sex but having to schedule it in the space between your doordash order & delivery & yelling, “put your clothes on joshua is almost here” in the afterglow

took my bra off at work in the middle of the day and felt liberated as hell

any human person with larger than average eyeballs be looking at me…. i will lose it. i am putty. i transcend corporeality. a child? any gift you want! a PONY! an adult? let’s get married!

if technology and like, my entire life could conspire so that i never had to take my clothes off ever that would be amazing

there is NOTHING like the nostalgia u feel when hearing a song lyric that made you inexplicably horny as a teenager, “my knife it’s sharp and chrome / come see inside my bones” u kno wut 15 year old me was fucking RIGHT

it’s weird that i technically own a house but for some reason i’m way more weirded out that i own a garage??

crystal and i and her mom were playing mario kart last night and crystal always warns me if i’m in first place and there’s a first place shell coming for me and i kept yelling, “VALHALLA WAITS FOR MEEEEEEE” and i truly am a delight

MAN not to be controversial but u kno wut books are GOOD

i only listen to music with murmuring spoken word passages of lost intergalactic travelers recording their last words for posterity before they die now!!!!!!!!

some people……. should be swallowed by a whale

a fun thing about my anxiety is that sometimes i have anxiety about the same thing from opposite sides, so like: part of my brain says that i have to finish tattooing my arms or i will die, but then a different part says that IF i finish tattooing my arms i will die… you can see how this would be ,,, very stupid to live with

i get weird and confessional and overly loving when i’m like, exhausted and sometime it tries to come out in email at work, like, please people work with me i’m so tired and i lov eyou so much

you know how when you’re horny for something sexual, it’s like, “oh yeah i’m hard” well when i am horny for something emotional it’s like, “oh yeah i’m SOFT”

I’m still out here using Twitter at incomprehensible intervals — @ashrocketship — so you know… Don’t miss out on that either.

tunesday: february 2022

a square image of blossoms on a branch

listen on spotify


Here’s some dumb shit I refrained from posting on the internet until now! I hope you’re alive and well! I hope you’re doing your best! I hope the daily calculations of survival haven’t worn you out! I hope you know I love you!

i LUV butts in jeans

shit i’ve cried to this week: “i guess that’s why they call it the blues”, “who wants to live forever”, the entire concept of fleetwood mac

i have so many questions about the sentience and ethics of atlantis in the aquaman universe

to keep my banking free i make a farcical automatic deposit to a savings account every month and then immediately move it back to checking. every month. the future is lunacy.

HONQUE HONQUE i’m A GOOSE BITCHE is the song of spring

april 2019: the only song i can listen to right now is “over and over” by hot chip which came out in 2006 and i did not hear until january of 2018 the internet is great, actually

bonded with my beautiful gentle hygienist angel over the best lesbian-staffed gas stations in town

today i tried to do something Above and Beyond and it Broke Everything and i am taking it as a sign from the universe that the path of least resistance is the fucking Right One

i love when my social media feeds are 50% pissed off about star wars and 50% amped about star wars and that this time it’s bc there’s a cute illogical baby alien

i accidentally killed tim conway and i’m SORRY!!!! !!!!!!!!!

what’s it called when you do sthing bc ur curious but u also hate yrself, like ,,, curiosity flagellation

luv to lay on my belly on a hard floor even tho i know my back will become completely locked and immobilize me for several hours!!!!

hang on lemme just disassociate real quick

I’m still out here using Twitter at incomprehensible intervals — @ashrocketship — so you know… Don’t miss out on that either.

tunesday: january 2022

a square illustration of ginkgo leaves in shades of green and gold

listen on spotify

totally top five: 2021

It really seemed like things were getting better there for a minute, didn’t it?

Anyway! In the spaces between my brain going, “We :) are :) living :) through :) a :) plague :),” I have tried to compile some of the stuff I loved best this year! I did a lot of music listening and a lot of reading and not a lot of much else, so let’s see where 2021 shook out!

I didn’t read my first KJ Charles this year, but I did get very into Spectred Isle and Slippery Creatures which I did read in 2021. Charles has a masterful way with both worldbuilding — something I don’t usually care about since I’m not a supernatural/historical/scifi/fantasy person! — and romantic tension, but also manages dialogue that’s fun and snappy without feeling forced between characters that are likable and interesting.

My most listened to artist according to Spotify this year was The Tragically Hip which is absolutely true, and I got into quite a few other artists this year — Goat Girl, Deaf Poets, Father John Misty, Shakey Graves, Tyler Childers, Meg Myers — but I think the album I listened to most — and often started over from the beginning as soon as it ended — was Miya Folick’s Premonitions. Every song is great and the album as a whole works incredibly well and I couldn’t be more grateful to the algorithm serving it to me, even if it was a couple years late. I’d be remiss not to shoutout the live version of “Thingamajig” which puts me through an emotional blender every. single. time.

My favorite book this year was Elif Batuman’s The Idiot which took me almost two years to finish, but only due to a mix of personal problems and the whole world going to hell. It’s an exceptional book, somehow about nothing and everything simultaneously, funny and really heartfelt, thoughtful about the experiences of a young adulthood that looked nothing like mine and yet still managed to be incredibly relatable. As previously noted on Twitter, I cannot properly express how hard or how many times I’ve laughed at, “Dracula had a totally different experience at the zoo from that of other people.”

I read a ton of queer sports romances this year, both while on my Unlimited Summer 2021 journey and not, and though most of them were fine to very bad, I did read quite a few that were great.


Rachel Reid’s books are all very solid, but I was particularly fond of Heated Rivalry and Role Model and I think Ilya Rozanov is going to go down as one of my favorite characters in the last five years, easily. A.L. Heard’s Hockey Bois was the best book with a bad title I read this year, charming and sweet and very much about the romance of adult domesticity. Ashlyn Kane and Morgan James’ Winging It was also really charming with a fun cast and some good hockey cameos. Cait Nary’s Season’s Change was a dream, one of my favorite reads this year, full of characters I loved and cared about and with sharp writing better than basically everything else I’ve seen in the genre. Sorry you have to wait ’til February to read it!

Some other stuff I’ve loved this year, both new and more deeply: this vertical mouse, All or Nothing: Toronto Maple Leafs, these maxi dresses, sitting the fuck down whenever humanly possible, these food storage containers, Flipped, this goofy light, baseball — particularly the Dodgers and the Padres, Kringle Cream, Fear Street: 1994, these reusable water bottles, Walking Alice on YouTube, sleeping under this weighted blanket, laying down on the floor in a pile of pillows, Paramount+, these sweaters and these cropped hoodies from Target, and the Minnesota Wild.

Happy almost New Year! Here’s to high hopes and low expectations for 2022! I hope this year treats you kinder than the last and I hope you’re kinder to yourself than you ever have been before. I love you! Be safe! ♥