Here’s some stuff I refrained from posting on the internet until now!

whole lotta ‘wants to read’ on goodreads but not much ‘made progress on’ eh?

i like in hockey when a guy sits on another guy and then everyone holds still bc they think it’s going to get whistled but then it doesn’t so the puck starts moving again but then the guy just keeps sitting on the other guy while everyone else goes back to playing hockey, that’s good shit lil human sofa time

bitch i do not have TIME for an ad about beet juice!!!!!!

my life is p well spread over five electronic devices (phone, ipad, macbook, imac, work desktop) and stimes i just look at the shit that’s scattered on them, screencaps and saved images, and it’s just like… who was i at this moment what was i doing who was i trying to become what project was i brewing there

my biggest humblebrag on the internet is that my wife can afford weekly therapy

no matter when it happens, every time my stapler is empty when i press it, i sigh exasperatedly and am like, “REALLY?! FUCKING NOW?!” as though i am not always needing the stapler when i am using the stapler and there is some different, better time to learn that the stapler is empty

borzois are the most upsetting of all dogs

it is ONE thing to coexist with spiders and be kind or whatever but if it’s close enough that i have to see their DERANGED little legs holding their meatball body off of a surface near me well KINDNESS IS DEAD

if i was hot i would not have a SINGLE FUCKING THOUGHT in my head, i would just be dumb as hell and down to fuck, and i would not bother with ANYTHING ELSE

uh oh SOMEbody got the wrong kind of stimuli today

I do still use Twitter in the year of our lord 2020, @ashrocketship, so you know… Don’t miss out on those either. Because I’m a real gift to the world and you should be getting as much of me as humanly possible.