totally top 10: friends thanksgivings

10. Season 2, “The One with the List” – The least appealing part of Friends for me, both upon initial airing and in the years of subsequent reruns, is the back and forth Ross and Rachel nonsense. It’s not that the romances on the show aren’t interesting — I love Monica and Chandler’s fumbling courtship because I’m not dead inside — it’s just that the friendships are so much more compelling. Ross and Rachel date, they don’t date, either way I don’t really care. Even if that wasn’t the emphasis of this ep, it’d still fall to the bottom of the list for not really being about Thanksgiving at all. If it weren’t for Monica’s mockolate scenes with Michael McKean the ep would hardly be worth watching at all.

9. Season 9, “The One with Rachel’s Other Sister” – You know how sitcoms love to introduce really irritating characters and then rally the comedic forces of their casts around pointing out just how annoying that character is? I hate that. Christina Applegate is great at what she was brought into do, but it just feels unbearable and uninspired. Great tender moments of friendship, a lot of great Chandler emotions, and the entire China plot make it very watchable despite its flaws.

8. Season 1, “The One Where Underdog Gets Away” – The one that started it all! The most impressive thing about this episode is that it was the ninth episode of Friends ever and the characters already feel fleshed and whole. Love Joey’s STD posters, Chandler’s Thanksgiving issues, and Phoebe’s general willowiness.

7. Season 3, “The One with the Football” – Monica and Ross’s sibling rivalry is an early delight and, as always, weird Geller traditions are a highlight. Phoebe’s enthusiasm is maybe my favorite part of the entire episode and Joey and Chandler’s competitiveness verges on just the right kind of meanness without being unbearable. A solid and very Thanksgiving-y entry.

6. Season 8, “The One with the Rumor” – Problematic gender, trans*, and fat hate issues aside, this one’s got a nice turn from Brad Pitt and some decently funny moments. Ross’s tender remembrance of the tryst he had with his high school librarian is particularly charming and well-played.

5. Season 6, “The One Where Ross Got High” – Mr. and Mrs. Geller make an appearance in one of the strongest and most laugh out loud of the bunch. Notable not just for Rachel’s beef and pea trifle, but also Monica and Ross selling each other’s secrets out to their parents in a shouting match followed by Christina Pickles’s pitch-perfect delivery of the ultimate mom monologue. Glorious.

4. Season 7, “The One Where Chandler Doesn’t Like Dogs” – Tons of great laugh out loud moments in this one including Matt LeBlanc’s hilariously delivered “Don’t do it!” (which also has a great blooper) and Ross’s dislike of ice cream. Jennifer Aniston’s dry delivery and perfect timing are also a delight. She’s often overlooked when people talk about the cast, but she’s killer and this is a particularly great example of her.

3. Season 10, “The One with the Late Thanksgiving” – A hilarious and heartwarming turn from the final season of the show, notable for Chandler and Monica receiving news that they’ve been chosen as adoptive parents. This is one of those trope-y sitcom episodes where everything kind of goes disastrous but it’s got a lot of great laughs including the dumb but delightful talking heads bit and the baby beauty pageant. The news of the adoption is particularly sweet, the kind of news you want surrounded by the people you love most.

2. Season 5, “The One with All the Thanksgivings”Friends flashback episodes are well-loved for a reason and this one is no exception. Joey getting the turkey stuck on his head is funny enough, but escalated when Phoebe tries to disguise him from Monica with parsley. Pre-nose job Rachel is a favorite every time she shows up and Chandler and Ross’s thematic outfits are glorious. Another great turn from Christina Pickles and Elliott Gould rounds out a great ep.

1. Season 4, “The One with Chandler in a Box” – This ep is hands-down my favorite because it’s not only the one that makes me laugh the hardest and most consistently, but also because its driving force is really friendship. Chandler and Joey’s relationship is always a great source of comedy for the show and it doesn’t disappoint here. Matthew Perry’s not even visible for most of the episode and he’s still killer. Michael Vartan is particularly babely and charming and his awkward kiss on the balcony with Courtney Cox is flawlessly hilarious.

What’s your top ten? What are your other Thanksgiving faves? Are you rewatching The West Wing where President Bartlet calls the Butterball Turkey Line today too? Or are you just eating a whole bunch and staring at the dog show? Whatever you do, enjoy it and know that I am thankful for you!

dvr hoarding & political animals

Hi, I’m Ash and I’m a DVR hoarder.

For as long as I’ve had access to a DVR (years and years, now) I’ve saved shows and movies like they might later save my life. Half hour comedies, one hour dramas, whatever movies happened to interest me on all those expensive premium movie channels. All of it. I save and I save and I save and I watch that available storage space bar disappear and I get more and more tense, awaiting the day that I’ll have to cull the herd in order to let my recording habit survive.

The culling isn’t hard, not at all really. By the time it arrives, I’m so disconnected from the things I’ve recorded that I no longer have any real need to keep them around. The movies and special recordings go first, then anything canceled, then anything that might constitute a mini-series type situation. There’s a thrill to deleting, a cleansing rush. “I am no longer obligated to watch or care about that thing,” I think. “I’m free.”

But then the potential regret. “I really wanted to see that movie, didn’t I?” and “A lot of people said John Carter was really good!” and “But you really do want to watch The Newsroom!”

I struggle with my hoarding because the line between save and delete is fine, baby’s hair fine, finer than, like, the breath of a ghost. There’s no rhyme or reason to it and I probably couldn’t explain it if asked. “That show feels better than that show.” or “I’ll feel bad for that one if I delete it.” My decisions are irrational and meaningless, but I am capable of making them swiftly.

The other day, in a preventative move against a future shouting match over the lack of disk space on the communal DVR, I went to work. I got rid of the awards shows that my dad neither watches nor cares about, but somehow always sets to record. “Peace out, Grammys,” I said. “Smell ya later, Golden Globes.” I cleaned off a couple dumb things I’d recorded to show my girlfriend and then forgotten to delete because no, I don’t need to keep an episode of House Hunters that I recorded in November. Then I got to USA’s show from last summer Political Animals.

I thought, “Meh, I’ll delete that one. It’s just a mini-series!”

But I was feeling lazy and I didn’t particularly want to get off the couch, so instead of deleting those last four episodes, I sat there and watched them all. And how glad am I that I did?!

What a good show! What a good thing! Even with all of its issues — it’s lacking in characters of color (Though there are some present, none are really leads, and Brittany Ishibashi is severely underutilized.) and it has a particularly difficult time dealing with women which is frustrating because it’s a show about an incredibly smart, powerful woman featuring several smart, powerful, engaging female characters and yet there are still heinously catty interactions between female characters, poor handling of complicated relationships (Carla Gugino’s relationship with her boss/boyfriend could’ve been great, but they fumbled her terribly.) and women insulting men by comparing them to women/girls — it was a fun, engaging, and emotional experience!

It’s got all kinds of smart people talking quickly and authoritatively about politics and journalism and it’s got that sort of fun and witty political drama element and it’s got good looking people and likable people and beautiful, heartbreaking family relationships and it was just super satisfying.

It’s got a seriously compelling, evolving relationship between Sigourney Weaver’s Secretary of State and Carla Gugino’s DC Journalist.

It’s got (G-O-R-G-E-O-U-S) fraternal twin brothers (James Wolk and Sebastian Stan) where one is the fuck-up and one can do no wrong but they love each other anyway!

It’s got Ellen Burstyn as the feisty drunk grandma who is the constant, sassy voice of reason and support! (And a WONDERFUL relationship between her and Sebastian Stan’s character, oh man.)

It’s got a womanizing, cheating former president dad who, despite his massive failures as a human, really loves his family and his ex-wife.

It’s got the sassy grandmother and the perfect brother’s uptight fiancee smoking pot in the Secretary of State’s kitchen and bonding!

It’s got an impromptu elopement which the entire overbearing (WITH LOVE) family manages to crash during the single most dramatic/shocking event of the presidential term. An event that made me sob! But I won’t spoil because it was so much better not knowing it was going to happen.

And it’s got Sigourney Weaver playing a Hillary Clinton-esque badass and playing her with wit and humanity and tenderness and palpable concern for her family. If there’s one thing I left this show with it’s that Elaine Barrish is not to be fucked with.

Sadly, USA pulled their full episodes from their video hub and OnDemand, so the only place to watch the show legally is by buying episodes through Amazon but, you know, if you’ve got a space twelve bucks sitting around, I don’t think it’d be poorly spent.

And maybe, just maybe, you’ll learn from me and try to be just a tiny bit less arbitrary when you’re trying to free up space on your DVR. I think I will.

totally top five 2k12: tv

The 7 Elements Required for Me to Watch & Enjoy a Television Show:

1. likable characters
2. humor (No matter the subject matter, no matter how dark, I MUST laugh.)
3. FRIENDSHIP
4. people who like/love each other and are not constantly cruel to one another
5. pleasurable dialogue
6. charm
7. a reflection of real life/myself/people I know

Even if I don’t mention it specifically, I promise that each of these five shows meet all seven of these requirements to varying degrees. I also like my TV to be diverse and to have female characters that are competent, interesting, and vital. Not all of these shows are as successful at that.

5. Teen Wolf [season 1 | season 2]

Let’s be real, Teen Wolf is terrible. The production values are awful, the special effects are B-movie-in-the-digital-age status, and the creature design is embarrassing. The acting isn’t always… great. The writing is 40% laughable. The continuity is so atrocious it actually makes all of genre television weep. Tragically, for me and the millions of other people trapped in this hellacious show, it’s also weirdly great?

The thing that hooked me was Stiles Stilinski the sidekick-foil who is probably easily in my top ten favorite fictional characters of all time list. And his relationship with the actual lead, Scott McCall because, as this list will rapidly attest, for me friendship is everything. Over time though it’s like… suddenly there are lots more things to love about the show — Derek Hale and his sassy Uncle Peter and Lydia Martin and Jackson Whittemore and Coach Finstock and Sheriff Stilinski and Melissa McCall (The adults on the show are great.) — and watching a group of teenagers navigate a bunch of weird-ass supernatural shit all on their own in the age of Google. It’s fun! It’s funny! It’s kind of gory! It’s terrible but really great! What do you want from me?!

4. Sherlock [season 1 | season 2] & Elementary [amazon]

I watched Sherlock way back in January and I watched it obsessively and intensely and forced my girlfriend to watch it with me and rewatched it and just generally loved it. The easiest way to hook me on a show is to write dialogue that feels good to listen to and Sherlock has it in abundance. There’s not a moment I don’t enjoy listening to everyone talk. The second easiest way is to make the show about friendship and Sherlock also has that in abundance. Friendship! Snarky, snappy dialogue! Attractive British people!

We started with Elementary when it started in the fall and it was love at first watch. Sherlock in New York! Watson’s a smart, awesome, beautiful woman! It’s Lucy Liu and Jonny Lee Miller! Sherlock has compassion and insight and intuitive skills, but is brash and a little rough! Watson’s caring and quick and there to hold him back from going to far! Friendship! It’s great! Basically, sorry if you’re dead inside and can’t appreciate an erotic literary adaptation crime procedural on CBS.

I had not just zero interest in Sherlock Holmes before watching Sherlock, I had negative interest, but it’s so good it managed to hook me anyway. Even Elementary can’t convince me to care about the stories, but give me all the television. All of it. Give me a futuristic cyberpunk version where Sherlock’s an android and Watson’s a middle-aged, washed-up professional hoverboarder. I will be its number one fan.

3. Bob’s Burgers [season 1 | season 2]

Bob’s Burgers is the best animated show since the best seasons (3? 4? A few after that? It was a good era.) of The Simpsons and by far the best on network TV right now. Honestly, it’s one of the best shows on TV right now, period. It’s funny and it’s weird and it’s got a great voice cast and the writing is just really solid and refreshing and fun. I laugh a lot when I’m watching this and it’s the intense kind of laughing where I have to pause it to get my laughs out so I don’t miss stuff. I really love Tina and Gene and Linda and I love the family as a whole. The thing I love most about Bob’s Burgers though is that it depicts a pretty average family that really and truly loves each other. Family is basically blood-friendship, so you know I’m on board.

2. Ben and Kate [amazon]

Ben and Kate is the best show of 2012 that basically no one is watching. It’s so funny and well-written and the characters are all really awesome. They make mistakes and they learn from them in a way that doesn’t feel trite or sitcom-y. And — I hate people who say this because it just sounds like such a dumb, elitist thing — it feels really, really authentic. The characters just feel really human and genuine! It’s all about family and friendship and creating and living a life that makes you happy with a family you build from the people you love most in your life. I’ll be honest, I do a lot of crying during this show, both the happy kind and the sad-but-still-happy kind. And I really love it for it.

It has a full season pick up, but its ratings are really low and it’s so unlikely to get a second season and it just bums me out that a show this funny with this much heart and writing this good can’t find an audience. Or, really, I can’t believe networks are still operating on a model that relies so heavily on traditional ratings that don’t accurately reflect a show’s actual audience.

LOOK, BEN AND KATE IS REALLY GOOD. PLEASE WATCH IT.

1. Suits [season 1 | season 2]

Suits is great. I mainlined all of it recently because USA helpfully put it all up online (and also made it available On Demand if that’s a thing you have available to you) because we had to put one of our dogs down and I was very sad and very unwilling to even think about reality. (This is only slightly different than how I feel on a daily basis.) I was hooked from the first exchange between Donna and Harvey because it was witty and charming and it was such a clear sign that the dialogue was going to be phenomenally enjoyable. The dialogue on Suits appeals to me in the same way that the dialogue on Sherlock does: I don’t understand it all because there’s a lot of technical jargon-y stuff, but it’s still wildly pleasurable to listen to.

As you must expect at this point, Suits is also about friendship. Harvey and Mike’s friendship and Donna and Rachel’s friendship and Donna and Harvey’s friendship. And all of the friendship. It’s also about pop culture references (which, I will admit, can sometimes get tired) and sort of smirky humor and they say “shit” a lot which is not a thing I thought you could do on USA! And also it has a really decent soundtrack.

face off, “alice in zombieland”

I was going to stop recapping Face Off because it was sort of killing my will to live and also my girlfriend just started her new job, so we’re still working out the kinks in time management and I obviously can’t watch this thing without her, since it’s her fault ENTIRELY that I ever watched it in the first place, so that meant we didn’t actually watch it until yesterday morning. But. Here we are.

This week on Face Off» more: face off, “alice in zombieland”

face off, “year of the dragon”

This week on Face Off» more: face off, “year of the dragon”