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Here’s some stuff I refrained from posting on the internet until now!
u ever get stuck staring at a banana for a while like WHO designed this motherfucker?????
i think i’m a smart educated reasonable person and then i read 12 pages of a book and fall in love with a fictional character because they’re dumb as a fucking rock
imagine having to go through life as a grown-ass man with the name TIMOTHY
i am almost never surprised by how awful white people can be, but i am somehow frequently surprised by how ANNOYING we are. like, jesus. no one on earth knows how to run an already stupid joke into the ground like a fuckin white person.
if u have me blocked know that u are my enemy, but also,,, i respect u immensely bc u right.
the dumbest thing i get mad about is when i see a great username on a social media platform and then see it’s taken by a public figure. awful. u don’t need or deserve that!!!!!!!! u have money wealth fame and power!!!!!!! gimme ur funny twitter handle!!!!!!!
i saw cabaret at too formative an age and those curved cane back chairs make me pavlovianly horny!!!!
of all the things i’ve learned in my time on the internet, “mcdonald’s coffee burn lady wasn’t an idiot” and “baby on board placards are for first responders” are the two i get fuckin WILD AND OUT about the most
one time a guy told me we couldn’t be friends because he was applying for the fbi and i wouldn’t pass background clearance when they went digging and i still don’t know if it was an elaborate brush-off or the truth, but i’m proud either way
people without anxiety just lack imagination
I’m still out here using Twitter at incomprehensible intervals — @ashrocketship — so you know… Don’t miss out on that either.
It’s July! 2020! Holy shit! Hi! Please donate to mutual aid funds if you’re able! Wash your hands! Wear a mask! Stay safe! Stay sane! I love you!
 I held off on watching The Half of It for a bit because I’d seen a thread on Twitter from writer-director Alice Wu talking about how it was based vaguely on a friendship from her youth and how it had ultimately ended badly and I was just not prepared for the chance that the movie might end similarly — I’m a big proponent of writing from your own history, but I also don’t know why anyone wouldn’t write themselves a better ending. What’s the point of fiction otherwise? — but I was wildly pleased to see that was exactly what she’d done and it was such a joy to watch. I laughed a lot, I cried a little, I felt immense satisfaction. Ellie, Paul, and Aster are all great and I loved Ellie’s dad very much too.
 Based on what I saw in my Spotify friend activity bar, pretty much the only thing anyone was listening to was Run the Jewels’ new one and that was pretty much my MO for June too. Every song on this one is great, but I’m particular to “out of sight,” “holy calamafuck,” “walking in the snow,” “JU$T,” “never look back,” and “the ground below,” which, to be fair, is uh, most of the album. Run the Jewels always hit me really well musically — for reasons I don’t know enough about music to articulate, but I think it’s a combination of bass lines and tempo? maybe? — but this feels as lyrically pertinent as ever.
 My review of Avon Gale’s Breakaway covers pretty much everything I loved about it, but as I was reading through my Kindle highlights right now, I ended up laughing and being wildly charmed all over again. Lane is one of the most fun narrators I’ve spent time with in a long while and I’m so glad I tried to reset my horrible attention span with this one. There’s not a single character I don’t like! The dialogue and sex are fun! There’s emotionally satisfying resolutions of parental relationships! People like each other! Professional athletes are chill about having a queer teammate! This was a great time and I’m excited to read more from Gale.
And three to look forward to…
  
Here’s some stuff I consumed in the last month. Keep taking care of yourselves. ♥
Alice Speri, Alleen Brown, Mara Hvistendahl, The George Floyd Killing in Minneapolis Exposes the Failures of Police Reform
Cameron Awkward-Rich, Cento Between the Ending and the End
Erik Gudbranson, We Need to Be Loud, We Need to Be Unflinching
Ruth Gebreyesus, Eating at Black-Owned Restaurants Isn’t Going to Save Us
Melena Ryzik, Overlooked No More: Debra Hill, Producer Who Parlayed ‘Halloween’ Into a Cult Classic
Mark Fraser, Silence Is Violence
Ed Yong, COVID-19 Can Last for Several Months
Rebecca Carroll, You Should Be Feeling Miserable
Cynthia Franks, A White Woman, Racism and a Poodle
Angel Jennings, South L.A. is largely untouched by unrest. That is by design
Miles Klee, White People Sound Like Brands When They Post About Racism
Anne Helen Petersen, Why The Small Protests In Small Towns Across America Matter
Holly Anderson, The Dog Who Was Not There, And Also Was Not A Dog
Here’s some stuff I refrained from posting on the internet until now!
my anxiety is so bad that every time some white person gets called out for some racist shit i end up aggressively interrogating myself like, am i SURE i didn’t do blackface and somehow forget? did i make a confederate flag cake even tho i don’t know anyone who moved to the south nor have i ever voluntarily baked?
ooooh daddy likes to be horizontal
why is writing actually writing one sentence and then doing fucking ANYTHING else for an hour before maybe writing another sentence and then saying you’re done for the night
one time i got to watch a squirrel going fuckin HAM on a small pumpkin on someone’s porch amongst a littering of fall
leaves and it was AMAZING
today i learned that in greek myth centaurs were just like… wild horses with human torsos and this is… upsetting… just feral horse bodies with human faces, just wild, furious REGULAR HORSES, stomping their violent horse hooves, and gnashing their horrifying human teeth
god bless our puritanical american society if only because i don’t have to put headache medicine up my own asshole
as a burgeoning baby gay linda hamilton in t2 was extremely formative and important and now, as a 35yo well-established gay, linda hamilton in terminator: whateverthefuck 2019 could keep me as a fucking pet
i did a five minute sofa monologue about eating ass today and at the end my wife looked at me and said, “you should try that one out at work”
until like, a week ago, i thought the “wouldst thou like to live deliciously” thing was like… a joke meme about taco bell? like, maybe somehow related to dave navarro’s live mas thing that everyone lost their mind about for a while… i don’t understand the connections in my brain. like, i had seen someone GET IT TATTOOED and was just like, wow commitment
i could have been born anything but at least i wasn’t born a foot guy
I’m still out here using Twitter at incomprehensible intervals — @ashrocketship — so you know… Don’t miss out on that either.
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