Here’s some stuff I refrained from posting on the internet until now! I hope you’re alive and well! I hope you’re doing your best! I hope you’re donating to mutual aid funds when you’re able! I hope you know I love you!

every morning i wake up with the legs of a brand new baby deer instead of the human legs i went to sleep with

being enthusiastic about a band’s newest thing is fine and being enthusiastic about a band’s oldest thing is fine, but the stuff in the middle is sketchier. being enthusiastic about a ban’s 2nd newest thing? EMBARRASSING

might fuck around and be completely demoralized by attempting human communication

someday i’m gonna end up fuck-all punch drunk in the middle of the night and i’m gonna order some GOd FORSAKED $300 knit weighted blanket and a $90 candle and a commercial food service amount of kellogg granola and raisins and some sort of $20 soft bag to carry a book in my purse wothout sullying it bc the tabs are just hanging out open in safari and i am weak-willed and easily confused

someone told my sister i was QUOTE A HOOT UNQUOTE

i was once bullied into promising not to tell stories that ended with me crying anymore by two men, which was partly afffectation and partly just like, who i am as a person, but you know what… fuck that. cry at the end of every story!! create your own mythos!! fuck off, boys!!!!

marriage, to me, is scream-laughing while you and your partner fight to lick each other’s faces as a form of hilarious torture and also conflict resolution

i really like that the internet started naming things by just removing the letter e, that was a good innovation tbh

my ok go playlist ended without me noticing today because spotify autoplays similar stuff but then suddenly, like the sudden realization that someone is in your house, i was like… BEN GGGGGIBBARD??????

u ever wish u could just drop dead at the exact second u think about it? it would solve SO many problems and create so many new ones!

I’m still out here using Twitter at incomprehensible intervals — @ashrocketship — so you know… Don’t miss out on that either.