me and earl and the dying girl by jesse andrews

I really, really liked Jesse Andrews’ Me and Earl and the Dying Girl. I liked it a lot, definitely more than I expected to — I think? — and it’s one I’m glad I stumbled across on Amazon in my search for cheap Kindle books. It reminded me in a lot of ways — the good ones — of Frank Portman’s King Dork which I read around this time of year in 2009. September means stories about school to me and these are both stories that are about school and not about school in equal measure.

In fourth grade, I realized that girls were desirable. I had no idea what you were supposed to do with them, of course. I just sort of wanted to have one, like as a possession or something.

Both books are funny in similar ways, in this very specific way of young white men, that is intangible but near-visceral to me, and that makes me sometimes laugh so hard out loud that I have to put down what I’m reading and try to remember how to breathe. It is a key of phrasing, of word choice, and it’s near-impossible for me to pinpoint or draw actual line comparisons. I sat down to read King Dork again just because I wanted to be able to make clear references, but couldn’t focus on it because I kept thinking how much more I liked Me and Earl and the Dying Girl.

Did I want to get with Madison ? Yes. Of course I did. I would have given up a year of my life just to make out with her. Well, maybe a month. And obviously she would have to be doing it voluntarily. I’m not suggesting that some weird wish -granting genie would force her to make out with me in exchange for a month of my life. This entire paragraph is a moron.

Andrews’ narrator Greg is more self-aware, conscientious, and kind. He’s not perfect, but he tries very hard — perhaps initially because he wants to remain on everyone’s good side and under the radar, but ultimately because he doesn’t want to hurt people. He’s aware of his privilege, he’s aware of the class and racial differences between him and his friend Earl, he’s aware and speaks colloquially but explicitly about the importance of consent. Greg’s a good guy. And, unlike King Dork‘s Tom, he’s not obsessed with The Catcher in the Rye which is a book that, since I first read it at 12, has made me hate teenage boys, male writers, and every teacher and human being that has ever lauded it. Instead he’s obsessed with Werner Herzog for whom I have no opinion. Improvement!

“Urrrrgh.” We were silent, so I made the noise again. “Urrrrnngh.”“What is that noise.” “Regretful polar bear.” Snort. “Polar bears are the most regretful animals in nature. Scientists do not know why this is. But they have the purest expressions of regret in the animal kingdom. Listen to how beautiful and haunting they sound: Urrrrrrrnnngh.”

Me and Earl and the Dying Girl doesn’t have the world’s happiest ending. It’s not tied up and inspirational, but it is grounded and it is hopeful. It’s got great, funny writing and a self-aware, self-effacing narrator with a really charming, but never unbelievable narrator. It also has one of the best, most memorable teachers I’ve ever seen show up in a young adult book.

Mr. McCarthy had a look on his face of deep concern. It was definitely out of character for him and it was sort of distracting me. It was like when a dog makes a human-style face at you and you’re temporarily thrown off guard by it. You’re like, “Whoa, this dog is feeling a mixture of nostalgic melancholy and proprietary warmth. I was not aware that a dog was capable of an emotion of that complexity.”

So, you know the drill, go buy it and read it and stuff.

tell the wolves i’m home by carol rifka brunt

Right when you were born, the tunnel was huge. You could be anything. Then, like, the absolute second after you were born, the tunnel narrowed down to about half that size. You were a boy, and already it was certain you wouldn’t be a mother and it was likely you wouldn’t become a manicurist or a kindergarten teacher. Then you started to grow up and everything you did closed the tunnel in some more. You broke your arm climbing a tree and you ruled out being a baseball pitcher. You failed every math test you ever took and you canceled any hope of being a scientist. Like that. On and on through the years until you were stuck. You’d become a baker or a librarian or a bartender. Or an accountant. And there you were. I figured that on the day you died, the tunnel would be so narrow, you’d have squeezed yourself in with so many choices, that you just got squashed.

Tell the Wolves I’m Home was really very extraordinary.

I wasn’t exactly looking forward to reading this one. That’s not quite accurate, but, I mean, I wanted to read it obviously, but I was dreading it in the same way I dread reading any book that has good buzz and is well-liked. What if I’m the one that doesn’t like it? I like liking things! And I don’t care about having an unpopular opinion, but I do dread having to talk about it since it usually amounts to me going, “I DON’T KNOW, IT’S JUST NOT FOR ME.”

This time though, I had nothing to worry about because the hype about Tell the Wolves I’m Home is totally founded.

I keep trying to articulate the ways in which I found this one so pleasing and there are lots of technical reasons why — the pacing is lovely, the writing is gorgeous verging on astounding in places, the story is rich with life and feeling and emotion, and the depth with which the reader understands June is near magical — but I just keep coming back to the almost physical sensation of pleasure that happened while I was reading, a feeling like climbing into cool sheets or a warm bath or your favorite pajamas. I cried a lot while reading and it was good, hard crying that left me feeling wrung out in the best, most satisfied way. There’s magic in that kind of writing, a kind of careful sorcery of emotion and language that takes your readers apart in a way that’s satisfying and thrilling and unforgettable.

June isn’t perfect and that’s what makes her so remarkable. She’s likable and weird and funny, but she also makes bad decisions and it’s what makes her so full and human. She makes the kinds of decisions that fourteen-year-olds make and you understand them, even when you hate them or know they’re not the right ones for her to make. She’s wonderfully well-fleshed and she’s not alone, Toby and Greta are complex, complicated characters that bring vitality and life to June’s interior. Greta’s not likable and I’m not sure I’d have ever been able to treat her with the near-unfailing humanity that June does, but that’s what makes them such great characters.

I genuinely want to have tons of things to say, lots of eloquent commentary and brilliant observations, but I don’t. Tragically. Tell the Wolves I’m Home is just good. It was a good, quick read and I felt bone-deep satisfied when it was over. It deserves the hype. It’s better than the hype. Read it.

grounded by kate klise

Maybe life was like one big “Swap Line.” In addition to trading things with other people, you swapped feelings with yourself during tough times.

Kate Klise’s Grounded was an absolute delight. » more: grounded by kate klise

ready player one by ernest cline

Ready Player One was okay but also awful! And I kind of have a WHOLE BUNCH to say about it! Spoilers! » more: ready player one by ernest cline

summer jamz 2k13

since today is the solstice and the first official day of summer and the sun is set to drop at 9:58 pm in my middle-of-nowhere corner of the world, i thought i’d finally throw together my playlist for the summer. i typed this twice on a manual typewriter. a. manual. typewriter. TWICE. my index fingers are furious.

summer jamz 2k13 2

totally top five jamz for summer 2k13:

5. ace hood feat. future & rick ross, “bugatti” – if you don’t wake up thinking “i woke up in a new bugatti” every morning after you hear this, i don’t understand you.

4. austin mahone, “what about love” – this CHILD. i can’t watch or look at him because i get the motts (secondhand embarrassment) so bad that my teeth feel like they’re going to fall out of my mouth, but this is a good-ass song.

3. fake shark real zombie, “paint it gold” – put me on a raft in the middle of a pool and leave me there to die. this is filling the void for pool jamz in my heart, since i don’t have new lana del rey to do it.

2. robin thicke feat. pharrell, “blurred lines” – if i was putting cash money down on the song no one will be able to escape for the next three months, it’d be this one. S U C H A J A M.

1. ariana grande feat. mac miller, “the way” – i legit thought this was a mariah carey song the first time i heard it because it just felt like one. that’s a compliment. straight-up “honey”-esque vibes.