or the feathers / of some unimaginable bird / that loves us
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 You know it’s bad out there. I know it’s bad out there. I’m incredibly proud and grateful and amazed by the bravery and good I have seen people do. I’m going to talk about some pop culture type shit now. I re-listened to the entire Decemberists discography in order this week and it was deeply enjoyable. I’m probably a bigger fan of their later catalog and The Hazards of Love remains my favorite album, but there really aren’t any misses in the bunch. I also listened to Yasmine Hamdan’s I remember I forget — loved it right away and four or five listens later I am only more enamored. (Shoutout to Tommy for the rec!) — and Gully Boys’ self-titled album also got a handful of listens this month and is a great time, though my biggest repeat by far is “Big Boobs (ft. Zora)” which is an absolute banger. We’re still rewatching The West Wing and frankly the less said about it the better (though that won’t stop me from posting later babey!), but I am fascinated by how much North Dakota gets mentioned and I really wonder who on the staff has the connection/random attachment. Also who’s the hockey fan because I don’t think there’s any American show that’s ever referenced it so much. We also finally watched episode six of Heated Rivalry which was fine! I think I was always going to be hard on the show because the book does so many things I love. I did think the family stuff turned out fine, but I will remain disappointed by the changes made to Shane’s mom’s character (and Scott Hunter’s backstory, but that’s not relevant here) and it made it all less impactful, though if I’d come in without having read the book I’m sure it would’ve been great. Okay, I think that’s it! We’ve been throwing money at various local groups and food drives, so I am recommending mutual aid through Liberation Twin Cities today, if you can spare it. Thank you! I love you! 
there / are blizzards, and there are blizzards. / some contain us; some we carry Everyone on the internet has been making these fun little graphics of their favorite things in 2025 and I was like, “Oh, fun!” and tried to do my own but between the horror that we’ve all accepted into our lives at the intersection of I-Guess-I-Have-to-Use-Canva and fuck-Adobe-I’m-not-paying-for-it-monthly and also feeling insanely fidgety and overstimulated I went, “Ah, fuck this,” and tapped out. Then I saw twelve people I think are actually kind of annoying do it, so also felt righteous in deciding to tap out. And then I was like, what the fuck am I doing, why don’t I just do this the way I used to? Words! That’s what I’m about! Thank god! I watched a lot more stuff than I have in recent years in 2025 and I liked a lot of it, even though not all that much was super new to me. I liked the first episode of The Pitt but haven’t watched anymore because I don’t want to see All That while I’m eating which is when we’re usually watching something. We watched the first season of The Peacemaker which I was really shocked to enjoy as much as I did. We’ve watched five of six episodes of Heated Rivalry, which I’ve already mentioned enjoying. I liked the new Superman (enough to re-watch about half of it on cable when I ran into it at my parents’) and loved Biosphere and What’s Up, Doc? and felt very fondly toward the entire trilogy when I finally watched Lord of the Rings. I read a decent amount — sixty books, seventeen of which were DNFs — and I really liked to flat out loved Taylor Jenkins Reid’s Atmosphere (the only book of hers I’ve read, likely to be the last because her plots don’t usually interest me) and Ray Nayler’s The Mountain in the Sea and Natalie Sue’s I Hope This Finds You Well and Rufi Thorpe’s Margo’s Got Money Troubles and Kate Folk’s Sky Daddy and Robin Wall Kimmerer’s The Serviceberry, the last of which I listened to as an audiobook because I finally taught myself how to listen to them this year! Which also meant I was able to listen to and love the Beastie Boys Boook and to also reread both Heated Rivalry (for the third time) and A Deadly Education (for the second) which is particularly lovely because I’m not very good (or generally interested) in rereading things! I did NOT listen to very much music this year which really pains me. I did make another year of monthly mixtapes (Every month since January 2020! Even amidst all the everything!) and so heard some new stuff in the process and I listened to a lot of the Beastie Boys as and after I read the book, which I do highly recommend, but the only albums I think I listened to in full more than once or twice were Doechii’s Alligator Bites Never Heal, Dev Lemons’ Surface Tension, and Dinosaur Pile-Up’s I’ve Felt Better, which I listened to a lot a lot.  As I have probably already detailed more than enough 2025 was one of the most stressful years of my life, but so far it’s also had the biggest payoff. I’ve never just picked up my life and moved to a new place on nothing but my own volition before and it was really, really hard and tiring and stressful and I had the worst indigestion of my life for basically six months, but I also got to realize how lucky I am to be able to do it at all and now I get to live in probably the second most beautiful place I’ve ever been (I’m sorry, nothing is ever beating California) where I keep meeting nice people and there are interesting things to do and I get to keep doing a job that I like and feel fulfilled doing.    In 2026 I want to keep taking care of myself and connect with more people and the world around me. I want to go to a museum a month! And go out in public! And see live music! And maybe even go outdoors where there are bugs and creatures and plants and water! I want to write! I want to partake of many wonderful things other people have created! I want to keep donating money and helping out where I can and in the grand tradition of picking a word of the year, I want to outlast. I want to outlast all my bad thoughts and ill health, mental and otherwise, I want to outlast the people who wish I were dead, I want to outlast my own suffering. I want to outlast my short attention span and my bad attitude. I want to stick it out!  HAPPY NEW YEAR!! I hope your 2026 is full of hope and positive change and comfort and joy and laughter. I hope you have your needs met and exceeded. I hope you find ways to share your wonderful self with other people and to make things. I know you’re a good one and we need you around. 
This is the lucky number thirteenth iteration of these annual holiday mixtapes. Every year I think I won’t get another one put together and then somehow I do and usually have a great time doing it. If you’re seeing this, I hope you have an easy holiday season. ♥ |
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