in recent years

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2013201220112010

allergies are GROSS

so, i have a lot of kind of random allergies. i developed an allergy to strawberries as an adult (but i eat them anyway) and i can’t use 90% of face products. and my body reacts to allergies with HIVES. big, lymph-leaking hives all over my FACE, mostly, then usually my neck and chest. it’s gross and itchy and awful, so aside from strawberries (which has actually lessened in recent years), i try to avoid them at all costs. it’s miserable.

well, one of the things i am MOST ALLERGIC TO is weevils. which shouldn’t be a big deal, except every house has weevils! they like dry foods and flour and stuff, so sometimes they are just in a house and if they don’t get into the food, they just hang out looking for crumbs and shit and they’re tiny and mostly not bothersome. EXCEPT WHEN YOU ARE ALLERGIC TO THEM.

so when i see them, it is my first instinct as a bug-hater to squish them, only I AM ALLERGIC, so i have to run and wash my hands two or three times and hope that i didn’t touch any of my clothes.

so the other day, i guess i killed one and forgot about it and then touched my face. and i was sitting at my desk at four am and i was like, “fuck my face really itches.” and i was like, “ugh, i bet it’s dry skin. my skin is FREAKING OUT this week.” so i just resolve to not touch it and ignore it. but i am sitting there and it is getting itchier and i am like, “UGH FUCK I WILL JUST GO WASH UP” and i walk into the bathroom and look in the mirror and see this hot mess.

this is what allergies look like, kids. GROSS.

YEAH THAT’S RIGHT.

so gross. i look like my skin is going to fall off. FUCK HIVES IN THE ASS, MAN. so miserable. and they were all wet and slimy from lymph-juice and just. ugh. my life, non-stop misery.

it was nice to be able to show my parents though and be like, WHAT WHAT YOU SAID IT WAS PSYCHOSOMATIC MOTHERFUCKERS LOOK AT THIS BOOYAH.

(also, i know that looks like one side of my face flipped to look like two, but i assure you it is not. i just have a FREAKISHLY symmetrical face. seriously. the mirror effect on the isight gives me the heebies because my face LOOKS EXACTLY THE SAME. my gf says that’s why i often get approached/reached out to by random children and babies. she says they dig symmetry.)