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September 2024 will not be going down in the books as one of the best I have ever lived, but it hath brought me FALLOWEEN as it always does and some pretty alright stuff, so let’s talk about that and forget that I am Mentally Unwell.
I made a kind of middle of the night unhinged Amazon order because I was out of flossers and every single different kind of flosser I tried is just absolutely garbage? I grew up using Plackers because my dad always had them in the car for tooth emergencies and they were the go-to for years, but now they’re awful? The quality is so bad and if I am going to do something I hate for the environment I would at least like them to successfully floss my teeth. All the Oral-B ones are bad too? Like either they shred or they have that weird plastic tape floss that I promise your hygienest does not want you to be using because it’s useless. But! A year or two ago, we were in the Cities and Crystal placed a Target delivery order for drinks etc, and I was like, “oh I forgot flossers, can you grab some?” and she bought me these baby child infant flossers and while initially I didn’t like them, I now love them because the floss is thick and makes it easy to work between my teeth without shredding but then after like two years of being able to get them reliably they’ve been discontinued or something? ANYWAY, I found a seller on Amazon who had four 90 packs for what was actually what I paid at Target per flosser and I ordered five four packs. Which is basically five years worth of flossers so I guess I have to stay alive that long now? Which is a little stressful but not the worst reason I guess.
We bought some expensive fans earlier this year that we’ve now been using long enough to have an opinion about. This one is great, suuuuuper quiet but also really moves air around a space, and this one is also great though not better enough that I would buy it instead of the slightly cheaper again. This one is my biggest disappointment — the fan itself is quiet and it moves air great and it’s not the ugliest thing in the world, but just long enough after buying it that we couldn’t return it it started making a real weird noise when it oscillates and I know I should reach out to the company but like… Do you know how hard that stuff is? Like, man. I’ll probably stop being a lazy piece of shit about it eventually, but sheesh. ANYWAY, they’re some of the nicest looking fans I’ve seen in a while and the remotes are nice and I’m sure it would be great to use the wifi also actually, but since the app’s TOS is basically like, “We will give your information to cops no questions asked :)
” I will simply not ever be learning anything about that.
We also, finally, after eight years of suffering our old, poorly hung, drafty, shitty front and back doors, bit the bullet and bought new ones and had a professional hang them and they’re incredible. Not only are they not drafty! They also open and close without me having to push, pull, or bang my arm into them (depending on the season)! And also they’re very beautiful because I have great taste! I feel bad because our back door used to have a full length window and Bruno would spend his days standing there trying to see out (which he could not as we put light refracting film AND a dark curtain on it as soon as we moved in because the sun was UNBEARABLE in the afternoons) and now it only has a half window because I am cheap and also because I didn’t actually want him to spend his whole day there barking, but that’s not going to stop me from feeling bad, babey! We were also finally able to get a storm door with a retractable screen put in and I cannot wait to actually open it and have air moving around the back of the house for the first time since we moved in! What a time to be alive!
Alright, I guess that’s it? What a weird old person list of things I liked… I also watched Stop Making Sense which I have not seen recently enough to have a strong feeling about whether the restoration/transfer is good, but GOSH what a fucking movie. What a concert! What a band! What an experience! Also the tribute album is pretty good! Or at least has a few bangers!
Oh and I also liked Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves! What a fun movie! What a great bunch of characters! What an incredible bunch of creatures! Everyone in this was so charming and so fun to watch, I wish I’d been able to see it in theaters which I don’t often think anymore even though we used to go to the movies like twice a week but can’t because our theater here isn’t usable for fat people and also because I think if someone whipped their phone out during a movie I would rip it out of their hand and throw it all the way to hell. What the fuck happened to the world, man?
Okay, that’s it! I’m old! Happy Falloween! Better days are coming! Unless you’re a summer person and then well I guess I am very sorry and I hope you find peace anyway.
I don’t know what happens to me when it’s time to do these posts but it’s like I the entire slate of things I have ever read, watched, or seen in my life gets wiped completely clean by the unseen sea roaring around in the empty space in my skull and I have to reconstruct it Memento style.
Anyway!
I’ve been watching a lot of Mac Glocky videos which are both fun conceptually, but also like, shockingly well executed? Enough that I’ve been listening to his Fantasy Covers albums on Spotify also. Some favorites: “Bad Guy” and “West Coast” and “The Man Who Sold the World. I think these things work not only because he’s a pretty talented mimic, but also because he really understands both the songs he covers and the bands he’s using as inspiration, but also what arrangement really means to the final production of a song.
I haven’t been reading much which is annoying and haven’t really enjoyed what I have read which is even more annoying, but I have been slowly picking at Jeffery P. Dennis’ Queering Teen Culture which I had been trying to find for years and Crystal grabbed me on a whim while she was making a used book order and is really fun and smart. Yes, I DO read academic texts for fun.
Crystal also finally bullied me into watching Good Will Hunting which I liked alright. I don’t feel like the ~catharsis was as good as it should have been, but I was very compelled by the friendship in it and the relationship that Will and Sean develop. My only real experience with it prior to watching it is the sequel scene they’re filming in Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, which tbh might actually be the perfect way to come into it as an experience.
That’s it! I guess! I didn’t even have any good snacks this month or anything… Like… I made salsa with apricots instead of mango last week because there wasn’t enough good mango left which was pretty good? We finally moved offices at work which has been exhausting, but incredible. I miss the coworker I was sharing with, but it was also nice to be able to close my door and take my shirt off to make a wardrobe adjustment the other day, so you win some you lose some.
Okay, that’s it for real. Tits in, Ash OUT.
Some books: I’m not having good luck with books this year! But I read some alright ones! Kiel Phegley, Strikers and Stephanie Hoyt, Prove It and Cat Sebastian, We Could Be So Good.
Some tunes: Games We Play, “Girl Shaped Crater” which i have been listening to on repeat like an insane person. Oh and Kittie’s “We Are Shadows,” which is SO good and also it’s great that while I am experiencing a personal metal revival via this playlist for the 13yo in my heart, so many bands I liked at that age are coming back. And The Decemberists in general, but specifically I’ll Be Your Girl, this time around. 2024! The year I become a Decemberists guy! As I have already said! A lot!
Some eyeball stuff: I am still watching a movie a week and I rewatched The Social Network which is still just phenomenal. Aaron Sorkin and David Fincher, absolute TITANS of film, coming together to make a movie about something as stupid as Facebook lawsuits and every second of it is perfect. Sorkin’s a prick, but that man can write dialogue, babey. And everyone’s just acting the hell out of it. Andrew Garfield’s beautiful face haunted with emotion, Jesse Eisenberg’s blank disinterest that you somehow know is because he’s too busy thinking about something else to be present… Fantastic.
I also watched Poor Things which was so much weirder (POSITIVE!) than I was expecting and while the story was fine to good, the sets and costuming are going to be what really stick for me, just absolutely beautiful and stylized and fun to look at for the whole runtime. Also, Emma Stone was GREAT. I don’t care about awards, but for sure she deserved whichever one of those things she won.
Alright, that’s it! See you next month! Love you!
I know I mentioned The Decemberists’ Hazards of Love the last time around, but I’d only listened through it once, I think, and since then I have listened to it… many more times through. I love an album that really feels like it’s MEANT to be heard as an album and is also good enough to actually bother doing it. I’ve never been a big Decemberists guy though of course like any sane person I do have some favorites including “The Mariner’s Revenge Song” and “Los Angeles, I’m Yours” and though I have given myself some shit for never bothering to investigate further and thus missing out on many years of enjoyment of this album, I also know that with all things, sometimes stuff just comes to you at exactly the right time and 2024 is my year for Hazards of Love, I guess.
And, after listening to I’ll Be Your Girl several times, the Decemberists in general!
I also spent a lot of time this first quarter of the year listening to Metric’s Formentera which is just 48 minutes of strangely danceable beats under kind of bleak lyrics, which feels appropriate for the world where we’re living in. “All Comes Crashing” kind of kicks my ass like brand new every time – When push it comes to shove / We do not fall out of love / We double down, we do not fade / For all I know / This might be my last night / If that’s how it goes, there’s no one / I would rather be lying beside – like, good god damn, folks!
I also got super into Art of Doubt, so perhaps 2024 is the year of the Decemberists and Metric? Sounds good!
One of my resolutions this year was to watch one movie a week and that’s been going pretty good! I’m ~allowed to rewatch, so I have hit some favorites, but we recently watched The Bodyguard on a whim and it ripped.
Every time I watch a Kevin Costner movie I’m just a little bit amazed that at one point he was basically like, THE biggest movie star in the world and could pretty much do anything he wanted because he’s just not really that good looking (though handsome and human in a way that I feel kind of disappeared from big movies because everything’s a comic book movie and everyone’s ripped and jawsome) and he’s really not particularly charismatic or compelling and YET! By the end of the movie you’re pretty much sold on him and it’s kind of inexplicable and wild tbh.
This one had all the pieces though: Whitney is so beautiful and the songs are so good and all the pieces work just right — hearing “I Will Always Love You” at the bar… CINEMA! — and the harrowing rescue at The Mayan Theater… what a SCENE! It wasn’t necessarily good by any real definition, but it was a MOVIE, and everyone had human looking teeth instead of bathroom tile veneers and I will take what I can get in this day and age.
Also men should always be cutting fruit with a knife in their hand and eating it from the blade. Things would be better if they did.
Okay, that’s all for now! Bye!
I watched five entire movies this weekend — yay — all of which I had seen before — boo — but that I did watch and finish while mostly not staring at another device — YAY — and it felt unbelievable to actually do it. Attention span, friend, is that you? (Please hear this in a Kate Bush “Wuthering Heights” falsetto, thanks.)
Highly recommend revisiting The Rocky Horror Picture Show if you haven’t in a while. It’s still so, so fun and still makes me feel like I’ve got a whole community of weirdos and queers where I belong, even when I can’t be with them in physical spaces due to the plague and also living in a nightmare place. I only got to see it once “live,” but it was the 30th anniversary show at the Hollywood Bowl and it’s hard to beat Par-tici-pating with 8,000 other nerds, you know?
I got a new favorite hoodie in October, the Smalltown Famous hoodie from Ohio In My Mind. Marty’s a lovely person and the stuff they make is great and charming and makes me feel like I belong to the community of the Greater Midwest even when my Local Midwest is waving Trump flags and giving me constant low-grade anxiety. New stuff drops all the time and it’s making up my entire wardrobe right now. I even ordered a back-up of this specific hoodie and one in a different colorway just to be safesies.
I also finished a book recently! Devin Kelly’s Blood on Blood which is a poetry based on a Springsteen album I’ve never heard — I love the Entity, but the music’s not really my thing — and I loved it very much, especially each of the versions of “The Story of How You & Your Brother Grew Up.” Me, liking poetry! 2020 surprising me yet again.
  
It’s November. Tomorrow is election day. Please vote for Joe Biden, even if it hurts. Any other option will hurt us all worse. I’m sorry we haven’t done more. Please donate to mutual aid funds if you’re able. Wear a mask, wash your hands, stay safe. I love you.
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