Work has been intensely frustrating this week, largely due to pervasive bad attitudes, and my at-home rhythm has been completely stunted in increasingly stupid ways, so I am feeling pretty tired and overwhelmed and cranky as hell and that’s terrible! So, just in case you’re having one of those weeks too, here are some of the things you can do to make it through a crappy week. I have personally done all of these things with varying levels of success, so there’s some anecdotal evidence supporting these.
TEN WAYS TO HELP YOU MAKE IT THROUGH
1. Be nice to someone else! Find somebody, tell them something nice. Tell a stranger you like her shoes. Buy your significant other a small gift just because. Call your mom and thank her for doing a good job raising you. It’s always easier to be kind to yourself after you’ve been kind to someone else.
2. Write a letter to your past self! Did you make a lot of dumb decisions when you were young? Did your life turn out okay anyway? Write a letter to your idiot younger self and assure them that things will turn out okay, even if they seem life-ending in the moment. This is super good therapy and can help you let go of incidents from your past that you don’t even realize you’re hanging on to.
3. Go out to eat by yourself! Even if it’s just your favorite fast food place, take yourself out and eat a meal you like. Read a book or journal while you eat, if you feel weird sitting by yourself. Eat slowly, focus on your food, and really try to enjoy eating as an experience instead of eating to survive.
4. Ignore your phone for an hour! I don’t believe the machine that says that social media and FOMO is going to kill us all, mostly because I’ve been on the internet since I was ten and I’m FINE, but I have personally found that disconnecting from everything for a little bit can be a powerful way to reconnect with your own brain. Even if you spend that hour reading or watching a TV show, if you’re not also checking your phone, there’s a good chance you’ll enjoy the experience more. Don’t you feel super good when you leave the movie theater after watching something uninterrupted? Do it at home!
5. Take a nap! I honestly cannot hype naps enough, especially in winter. I prefer to nap in bed, but the most important element is being exactly as cozy as possible. I especially like when I can get curled up in the perfect temperature and position and drift hazily to sleep while watching Friends on Netflix or YouTube beauty tutorials. The “If all else fails, take a nap and try again” portion of all my internet bios is NO JOKE.
6. Send a card or letter to someone just to say hi! I LOVE sending and receiving cards and letters and postcards and packages because mail is GREAT. And I know that other people like getting stuff in the mail too. So send some mail! Say hi to someone you don’t talk to all the time and let them know you were thinking of them.
7. Take a totally unnecessary bath or shower. Play music, use fancy bath stuff, take your time, and enjoy the warmth and solitude. I don’t have a bath (which I yell about regularly because I NEED A DAMN BATH) and I generally hate showering, but if I can get in and stand under the warm water for a while instead of rushing to clean myself, it definitely makes me a happier and more pleasant person. I still highly recommend cinematic showering too, if you’re really feeling it.
8. Write a list of ten things you like about yourself! Even if they’re totally arbitrary things like “I’m wearing a really cute sweater today,” they’ll make you feel better about yourself which you deserve because you are totally awesome.
9. Make a list of all the things that are upsetting you. This should be a long list with lots and lots of detail. When you’re done, either file it away somewhere you won’t find it for a while or destroy it. It’s kind of hokey to be like, “Getting your feelings out will free you,” but to be honest, it usually does. Some people like to read these things over and see how nothing they’re mad about is actually that big of a deal, but that’s garbage for me. I just like to get it all out and get rid of it.
10. Cry. The best thing about crying is that you can do it anytime, anywhere. I’ve cried in public, at my desk, at Disneyland, in hotel rooms, I’ve cried in the bathroom of every workplace I’ve ever had, every state I’ve ever visited, and there’s a good chance that if I’ve been in your home, I’ve cried there. Cry while listening to music! Cry while watching your favorite sad movie! Hell, you can cry while doing all other nine things on this list! When nothing else is working, crying can shake the shitty feelings right out of you.
Above all, remember that you are a wonderful, unique, worthy person and that you’re awesome and deserve to not be miserable!
There are two different schools of thought when it comes to Resolutions for the New Year. The first thinks your goals should be concrete and measurable so that you can see what you’ve accomplished; the second thinks they should be intentions rather than goals so that you don’t get discouraged by numbers. Well, three schools I guess, since the third thinks they’re bullshit entirely. I used to be that third school! Now I’m a mix of the first two because turning thirty has turned me into the kind of woman who drinks lattes and sometimes reads motivational quotes, nodding her head like she feels it. Anyway, my goals last year went okayish, if not as well as I’d hoped, but I figure rather than giving up on all those refresh-and-renew New Year feelings, I’d just keep trying! Because trying is cool!
Since I’m trying to mix those two schools, I’m thinking of intentions as lofty, abstract, and aspirational, while goals are manageable, actionable, and calculable.
ADULTHOOD: Plan, execute, follow-through. Be a thirty-one year old adult. Kick being an adult’s ass. Be a Super Adult. Or like, at least be a better adult. Use your gym membership. Do laundry regularly instead of like you’re putting out a laundry fire. Plan meals for the week. Clean out the fridge and go grocery shopping. Develop a routine. Pick up your shoes. Floss. Make lists and actually do the things on them. You know, all that boring crap that actually makes your life better.
BETTER CHOICES: Choose better. Not perfect choices. Not even good choices, just better ones. Choose for the long-term instead of the immediate. If there is a choice, make the smarter one. If there are a lot of choices, narrow them down and make the smartest one. Making choices that make my life better and help me to take care of myself including meditation over griping, mindful eating over eating to survive, and moving my dumb body instead of slowly turning to stone. Choose well and above all, choose to be kind. To the planet, to others, and to myself.
FINANCIAL RESPONSIBILITY: Make thoughtful purchases instead of impulsive ones. Save money whenever possible, including the Reverse 52 Week Savings Plan. Avoid the unnecessary. I am not, nor will I ever be a minimalist, but good lord do I just have enough stuff. We are pretty good about picking through our things and making regular donations, but I want to be better about not buying back-ups and collecting things that just end up collecting dust. One In, One Out isn’t realistic for us, but I think Less In, More Out will be the way of the year.
JOURNAL EVERY SINGLE DAY: This sounds more like a punishment than a goal, but is something I want to do because I am getting old and I would like to maybe understand my feelings and also remember things that happen in my life. Crystal and I also got the Our Q&A to start around the wedding, but we are not good at follow-through, so that’s another thing I’d like to commit to and add to our routine. Feelings are gross and should be banned, but until then, this is how I will try to deal with them.
100 WORDS A DAY: I write so rarely now that I hesitate to even call myself a writer anymore and that bums me out, like, a lot. So I’m starting small. I probably story-tell well over 100 words a day already easy, but I have to put some of those words down on paper every day. Just 100 of them! This can include the journaling, but should also mean at least some prompted writing or work on one of my books.
55 BOOKS: I read 53 last year and got a butt-load of Amazon gift cards for Christmas, so I think this one is super doable.
3 SEASONS OF TV & 20 MOVIES: They have to be new to me because re-watching doesn’t expand my knowledge-base. I also just want to generally seek out more tv and movies that interest me. I watched some stuff I really loved last year, but not nearly as much as I have in the past. Part of that is just having a full-time job and not being so sickly that all I can do is sit on my couch and watch cool stuff (which is obviously awesome) and part of it is just laziness (which is not).
BLOG AT LEAST ONCE EVERY TWO WEEKS: I just, you know, need to get it together. This also includes revamping the look of this place to match my awesome new url/name and also just, like, because it hasn’t been updated in way too long and it’s starting to get super embarrassing.
Usually when I write these letters, they’re about how shitty my year was and how next year will be better, but you got me, 2015, you were pretty damn good. My biopsies were cancer-free all year. I made pretty good money at a job I only hate about 30% of the time. I found aquacise aka exercise that doesn’t bring rage from my soul like lava from the crust of the earth. I bought/watched/read/listened to a bunch of good shit. I went on a bunch of pretty good trips. Oh, and I married my favorite person in the entire world. To be honest, 2015 will probably be hard to beat.
I’ve been a bad blogger this year and I do apologize for not being around and oversharing about every minute of my life with you, especially after I set such lofty goals at the start of the year! I mean, to be fair, I regularly overshare on Twitter, so I am still around, I just haven’t made the effort to be present here which is insane because I love my blog, duh.
I would be more apologetic if I’d been gone for bad or depressing reasons, but mostly I was gone because I was working a whole bunch of hours at a job that I only occasionally hate and planning a wedding that turned out so much better than I could have possibly expected. Those are honestly pretty good reasons to let my internet home languish a bit.
2016 might be better! Let’s find out together!
HEY, GURL, HEEEEEEEEEEY
In the meantime, it’s almost time to talk about stuff I really loved this year. I know, I know, I hardcore dropped the ball on my monthly favorites, but! I still bought/read/watched/listened to enough stuff to have some favorites to throw your way.
To ease both the number of posts I need to write and you have to read, I reduced my categories earlier this year as I was prepping to write a catch-up faves post (first in like… June, then August, then November…) so now we’re down to: Reading, Listening, Watching, and Stuff & Things.
I can’t guarantee a TOTALLY TOP FIVE in all of those categories, mostly because I was atrocious about seeking out new media this year, but I also bought a ton of make-up and skincare that I feel desperate to talk about, so I’m just letting it all ~flow.
And, of course, there’ll be a giveaway at the end! A good one! Because it’s the holidays! And I’m financially stable for the first time in my life!
This is not a post with any actual content! Just a warning that I will likely be more present and you should gird your loins. And that I turn 31 next year so as I attempt to be more present, I’ll probably start talking about, like, orthopedic shoes and other things that old people like. I’m pretty amped about it, to be honest!
To add to the no content of this post, here are other places on the internet where you can follow me where I have varying degrees of activity: Twitter, Instagram, and Snapchat: ashrocketship. I sort of understand snapchat! I’m obsessed with watching people’s stories! Let me watch yours!
A Brief List of Things I Do Not Understand Because I am Old
1. Snapchat – I don’t even know how to start understanding Snapchat. I’ve now downloaded it THREE SEPARATE TIMES, signed up/logged in, and then immediately deleted it because… What? What is this? Why? I want to figure it out though because from what I understand things happen to Snapchat when you go places? And I’m going to Disneyland soon and I know that’s a thing. I don’t have a lot of hope for myself though.*
2. Two-thirds of Vine – I like the animal videos (@SadieTriPawd & @BigCatDerek) and I do sometimes manage enough cultural osmosis to get Vine references in Buzzfeed posts, but man. What is happening in that app?
3. Instagram comments – This is not always an age thing, but I spend a lot of time looking at Instagram comments and going, “What? What? Why would you say that? To anyone?” but really I just treat Instagram comments like I do all other comment sections: avoid, avoid, avoid.
I don’t mention not getting these things because I think I’m above them, I mention it because it’s an illustration of an overly intense Facebook post I made like a week ago.
I am thirty years old and a large portion of the content being produced in the world at this very moment is not being made for me. And that’s okay! Well, it sucks a little, but it’s also just part of how the system works. Despite having more disposable income than I’ve ever had before in my entire life, I am no longer the media machine’s target market and there’s a good chance you aren’t either! We don’t decide what is or is not a hit, we just try to keep up.
Sure, it means we’ll feel old and out of touch sometimes, but it also means that we’re free. No one with any kind of power cares what we think or like or are interested in! There’s no cultural cache in being cool anymore because I’m too old for it to count for anything. I spent a lot of years learning not to care what people thought of me, now they actually don’t. I’m going to enjoy it.
