in recent years

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shockingly, women like to laugh too

Let’s talk about how I am really excited about this movie! And not just because I love everyone in it!

It’s pretty uncharacteristic of me — I like movies where things (literally) blow up and where there are fart jokes and dick jokes and violence and blood and sex and stuff. I love comedies, but not generally ones that are about chicks or relationships. Not that there are a lot of comedies about chicks! WHICH IS WHY I AM SO EXCITED ABOUT THIS MOVIE!

If a man tells someone that he likes comedy movies, they think about stuff like The Hangover (which I love) or Clerks (which I love) or maybe animated movies like Shrek or Toy Story or Groundhog Day or Hot Fuzz   [more…]

summer wishlist: pool

me and my sister in it to win it

like this, basically

My summer wishlist is currently exactly one item long.

POOOOOOL.

A POOL. A shape of water more than a foot deep in my backyard where I can drink bitch beer and splash myself repeatedly in the face while screaming, “I LOVE IT. I LOVE WATER IN MY FACE. GIVE ME THE HOSE AGAIN.”

There are basically eight thousand backyard pools in my neighborhood and surrounding city, but you know how many are located at the house in which I live?

NONE. NONE MANY.

i want my dollar back, motherfuckers

FECAL. FECAL MEANS POOP.

Our public pool is called THE PLUNGE and it is an embarrassment. Rec swim is one hour and fifteen minutes in   [more…]