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31 days of festive-ass flicks, day 22: santa claus conquers the martians

Day 22 of 31 Days of Festive-Ass Flicks [CALENDAR] was the atrocious Santa Claus Conquers the Martians which we watched only one day late! It was on an episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and spoofed on Cinematic Titanic. It’s terrible. [Spoilers!]

The thing about this movie is… It wasn’t really bad enough to laugh at? I’ve seen most of the MST3K episode and it’s pretty good, but I wanted to just watch the straight-up movie and it was just. so. bad. Like, almost unbearably so. Like, I was just begging for it to end and it WOULDN’T. It was EXCRUCIATING. But not because it was bad enough to be mockable — well, it is, but not in a fun way? — but because it’s sooooooooooo booooooooooooooooring.

I don’t   [more…]

31 days of festive-ass flicks, day 21: elf

Day 21 of 31 Days of Festive-Ass Flicks [CALENDAR] was Elf which I’ve already talked about some here. I actually watched this one the day I was supposed to! (Don’t worry, it won’t last.) [Spoilers!]

I love Elf. I really do. Every time I go to watch it, I think, “This will be the time it breaks and I’ll just like it” but instead I love it. I love it more and more and more each time.

It has the right mix of nostalgia and modernness to feel really, really current, but also have the sweetness of it not come off as cloying or fake. It’s got all the right feelings about family and love and the meaning of the holidays. It’s got an outstanding cast. I mean, seriously.   [more…]

31 days of festive-ass flicks, day 20: meet me in st. louis

Day 20 of 31 Days of Festive-Ass Flicks [CALENDAR] was Meet Me in St. Louis and I managed to watch it only a day late. GO ME I AM THE BEST. [Spoilers!]

I didn’t expect to like this one at all. Judy Garland movies always make me SO SAD and it’s a musical and there are lots of ladies looking for husbands. The entirety of my pre-planning notes for this one was, “ONLY WATCHING THIS FOR THE DAMN SONG” because “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas” is my very favorite Christmas song and I figured I ought to give the movie that spawned it a shot. But I ended up really kind of loving it.

There was way, way too much singing. Which is just, you know, something that   [more…]

31 days of festive-ass flicks, day 19: gremlins

Day 19. 31 Days of Festive-Ass Flicks. [CALENDAR] Gremlins. Only two days late. [Spoilers, probs.]

I have seen Gremlins six or seven thousand times. My sister had a Gizmo growing up. (A doll, sadly. OH HOW I WISH MOGWAI WERE REAL.) I know this movie inside and out. But then I watched it this time. And it was like I had never seen it before or something. IT WAS REAL WEIRD.

I think this is one of those VERY 80s movies that sort of shaped the idea of what the 1980s looked like. Corey Feldman and Phoebe Cates and Zach Galligan and VW Beetles that won’t start and super racist stuff surrounding Asian cultures and the Jerry Goldsmith score and all small towns being the Universal backlot and puffy   [more…]

31 days of festive-ass flicks, day 18: the preacher’s wife

Up to bat on day 18 of 31 Days of Festive-Ass Flicks was The Preacher’s Wife [CALENDAR] which continued my three-days-late schedule of long-lasting failure that I still have not recovered from. From which I may never, ever recover. [Spoilers!]

Okay, so I took really extensive notes on this one for no discernible reason and I cannot figure out what even half of them mean. So, like, I LIKED THIS MOVIE A LOT. Which I didn’t expect AT ALL. Because… I’m an atheist! This was not going to give me good religious god-y feelings! And I’m not a Denzel person! And I hate long scenes of singing in movies. And I’m not big on Whitney’s acting career. And basically EVERYTHING was pointing to me not being into this movie.   [more…]