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30 Day Meme — What You Did Today

mice and me

Day 6: What You Did Today In Great Detail

So this week I had these Really Grand Plans about how I was going to BLOG and I was going to get on a SCHEDULE and do this thing in a way that proves how much I actually love blogging and writing and stuff (because I actually DO, despite what my entry calendar says) but then I got sick and barfed up orange foam and spent three days in bed. So. Best laid plans of mice and men and fat chicks and stuff.

mice and me

But I am climbing out of the stench pit that is my bed and getting myself together by continuing on with that long-ignored 30 day meme thing. Day 6 is “Your Day   [more…]

30 Day Meme — What Is Love?

Day 5: Your Definition of Love

DSC_0050

UGH. Again. I mean, seriously, meme. Failing me yet again and yet again, here we go.

I think this is probably not a TERRIBLE topic for someone who is into emotions and feelings more than I am, but I’m just not. Emotions are for other people to think about and for me to have and be really good at hiding, THANK YOU.

Anyway. I didn’t believe in romantic love or marriage or any of that stuff until the love thing happened to me. I think this is a normal/common/average thing coming from people who are weird/ugly/fat/geeky/outside the traditional norm because you just kind of get disenchanted about the whole thing. Love is an illusion! A shared hallucination!

I still believe that, I just get to participate now.

I knew that I was in   [more…]

30 Day Meme – What You Ate Today

Day 4: What You Ate Today

I am not even going to address the inanity of writing about what I ate today because I was all, “FUCK YEAH, GONNA GET BACK TO BLOGGIN’. GONNA BE AWESOME.” and then I consulted the handy list of shit I need to write about and it was like, “Day 4: What you ate today, in great detail” and I was like, “Fucking, god damn, gonna have to give up on the 30 Day Meme on day four.” But no. Here we go. Gonna do this bitch.

We don’t have any decent food in the house right now and I just got back from Las Vegas yesterday where I ate a bunch of boss meals, so I was NOT digging the idea of having to make myself a sandwich. FUCK THAT. So basically I grazed on death food all day.

I had the   [more…]

30 Day Meme — Your Parents

Day 3: Your Parents

I picked this picture because we all look equally terrible.

My parents are awesome. My parents are so awesome that the greatest guilt I have ever felt in my entire life has basically been that I am not a good enough daughter and that I have not been grateful enough for everything they’ve done for me.

Awkward admissions of offspring-guilt aside, my parents are awesome people.

My mom is one of the funniest people I have ever known, sometimes intentionally even. Her verbal filter is… minimal, so she says whatever she   [more…]

30 Day Meme — Your First Love

Day 2: Your First Love

I’ve talked about her before, extensively, but my girlfriend Crystal is my first love. We had a really weird and complicated courtship because we were friends for more than a year before we finally talked about dating and I thought she was straight and she didn’t think I wanted babies/marriage (I didn’t/don’t, but I tricked her good!) and she made me promise that I would at least consider the possibility of children and marriage before she would date me. (She will say that I am lying and that “it wasn’t like that” but she will be lying through her fake front teeth.)

And then we did like lesbians do and moved in together really quickly. Or, rather, she moved in with me and my parents. Granted, we’d already planned to live   [more…]